C A S T L E S

Well, castles don't mean much to me,

Although I've seen a few,

I took some tours in England

And, yes, enjoyed the view.


And here in California,

Hearst Castle is the prize.

It's really not a castle,

Though charming to the eyes.


But still this theme is haunting me

And kind of makes me cringe.

'Cause castles can mean dungeons

And living on the fringe.


I've heard that there are those who love

To play out fantasies

In leather masks, with whips and chains,

And strange atrocities.


I have a friend (well, two or three)

Who say I really should

Give in to their suggestions -

They promise me they would...


Light up my life with candle wax

And make me die for pain.

They say I'd learn to beg for more -

They'd make me love their reign.

They promise me it's worth it all,

When they hand out rewards.

But surely this stuff couldn't be

On these refined old boards.


(...or could it?)