My introduction to the subject of cyber sex (or cybersex) came from Toni, a lady I had met on the AOL Story Boards, when we each responded to a story the other had posted.

One evening she sent me an IM asking if I knew anything about fax machines — she knew I wrote a computer column, and hoped I knew something about problems with other electronic devices. I replied that I was not a technician and knew nothing about fixing a failed fax machine.

"OK," she replied, and then said something that nearly knocked me off my chair: "By the way, have you ever had a woman go down on you while you were driving?"

I sat looking at my computer screen for quite a while before I could think of an appropriate reply. Finally, I typed: "No, I haven't — but it seems like a pretty dangerous thing to be doing."

"Well, I suppose it could be," she answered back, "but I've done it to my husband several times."

I was still in a mild state of shock and had trouble deciding what to say next. Finally, I said: "But wouldn't other drivers be able to see what you were doing?"

"Not too easily," Toni replied. My hubby's a long-distance trucker and not too many drivers can see into the cab of his Peterbilt. Maybe some other truckers — but they would think it was pretty cool, and probably wish they were getting the same thing."

"So you travel cross-country with your husband on his trips?"

"No, not very often. But when I do, going down on him as he drives definitely relieves the monotony."

Then Toni said something else that took me completely by surprise. "Do you ever do cybersex with any of the women you've met on the Writing Boards?"

"Cybersex? Pardon my ignorance, but I don't even know what that means."

"So how long have you been IMing," she asked.

"Well, I guess it was about two months ago that I stumbled onto the Boards and began meeting people."

"Well, you know what phone sex is, don't you?"

"Yes, I've heard of it, and have even seen it advertised on late-night TV. They don't use the phrase phone sex, but it's pretty obvious what you can expect if you call the 900 number they show."

"Well, cybersex is the same thing, only with IMs. You just take turns telling each other what you would do if you were alone in, say, a motel room together. Or you can be more creative, and visualize being on a deserted island in the moonlight. You can even get into BDSM, if you go for that."

"BDSM?"

"Haven't you read any of the submission poems or stories posted by some of the writers?"

"Well, I have seen some pretty weird stuff. One guy writes a lot about the joys of being dominated by a strong woman."

"Yep, that's BDSM. And have any of the ladies invited you into a private chat room?"

"Well, one of them made a passing reference to a private chat room, but I wasn't sure what she meant and didn't want to show my ignorance by asking."

"Hey, you might have missed out on some fun. A private chat room is kind of like what we're doing now — IMing with each other. However, it's better because you can send messages by pressing Enter, instead of having to click Send." Also, you can invite other people into the room, in case you're into group sex of any kind."

"Uh — okay, if I hear it mentioned again, I'll now know what she is talking about," was all I could think of to say.

"Great," replied Toni. "And if you're ever in the mood for some cybersex, just let me know. My hubby is gone a lot and it gets kind of lonely here at night. Oh, and let me know how you feel about BDSM sometime — I can be a very understanding Domme."

Now I had to find out what Domme meant.

(Continued in Part 6)