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How Does Your Spouse Feel About Computers?
During the 25+ years I've been doing in-home tutoring, I've discovered that it's usually one spouse
who's interested in computers, while the other couldn't care less. I always consider it a major treat
on the rare occasions when I go into someone's home and find both spouses anxious to learn.

Bumper Sticker
I found a message recently on my tape from a woman who said she had a question,
and who asked me to call her back.
When I did, her husband answered the phone and said she was gone for the afternoon.
I asked if he knew what her question might have been.
"You mean a question about computers?" he said.
"Hey - you're talking to a guy who has a bumper sticker on his car that says:
Computer Illiterate & Proud Of It"
He had his wife call me back later.

Joel and Audrey

As for my "one's interested and one's not" clients, I've found that it's usually the wife who's into computers.

However, I remember rather vividly a husband who'd been trying for over a year to get his wife interested in the PC he'd bought - but to no avail. When he first asked me to come by for tutoring, Joel felt sure that I could get Audrey interested - but she refused to come into his "computer den."

Then Joel called one day, and whispered, "Audrey's in a good mood this morning - and if you could come right now I'm sure we could get her to take a look and try it out."

When I rang the bell, Audrey opened the door and looked surprised to see me. However, Joel was right behind her, saying, "Don's got some real interesting stuff to show us, honey. Come on - you'll like it, and it won't take very long."

Audrey gave Joel a long look as she stepped aside to let me in. Joel and I went into the den, as he called over his shoulder, "Come on, honey - you gotta see this."

No reply. So Joel went back to get her.

"Audrey," I could hear him calling, "Honey - where are you?" It was then I heard a car start and back quickly out of the garage.

I heard the front door open as Joel yelled, "Honey - where ya going?" The door finally closed and Joel walked back in with a defeated look on his face.

"Well," he said, "maybe next time."

Nope - the last I heard, Audrey was still staying resolutely out of that room.

 My Friend Bob Layton

I NEED MY WENCH!

My best friend Bob is one who has yet to come to terms with the world of computers and email, although his wife Beverly has gotten pretty comfortable with it. Thus Bev wasnít too surprised when she found a hand-scribbled note Bob had left her before going to bed early one evening.

"Please tell Bill I need my wench back and that Iíll be out to see him this Saturday."

"Surely he doesnít mean wench," thought Bev as she began an email to Bobís brother Bill. So she wrote, "Hi, Bill. Bob says to tell you he needs his wrench back and that heíll see you on Saturday."

Checking her mail about an hour later, Bev found this reply: "Tell Bob I donít know which wrench he wants, but if heíll tell me Iíll just send it to him. He doesnít need to drive 400 miles to pick up a wrench."

The following morning Bobís first question to Bev was, "Did you find my message for Bill?"

"Yes, I did," she replied, "and he says if youíll tell him which one heíll send it to you."

"Which one? Heíll send it?" asked Bob with a puzzled look. "There is only one and no way could he send anything that big. Did he mean heíll bring it to me?"

"Well, read his email for yourself," replied Bev, pointing to the computer.

"Never mind," Bob said, reflecting his general attitude toward having anything to do with a computer. "Iíll just call him."

Well, Bev knew he wouldnít call until later that day, since Bill would be at work teaching school. So she sent him another email. "Bob says itís too big to send, so heíll come out and get it."

Later that afternoon Bev found a reply from Bill, saying he was totally puzzled and agreed that Bob had better call him.

By now Bob was convinced that his wife and his brother were both crazy - so he did call Bill. Hereís what he said:

"Hey, little brother - thanks for offering to send my winch - but you know it's too big to send. It takes two men and a boy just to mount it on my Jeep."

Wife Number "?"

I was doing some part time work for a lady who did desktop publishing in her home, when I spotted a familiar name on the ad layout she was doing. I mentioned that the man had lived across the street from me a few years earlier.

"Really?" replied my employer. "Well, guess what - Aaron's wife Julie will be here to pick up the artwork in a little while."

I'd heard that Aaron had been divorced after moving to another part of town - and was now rather curious to see what his new wife was like.

The woman arrived a few minutes later. My boss said hello to her, and then motioned toward me, saying, "I guess you know Don."

Julie gave me a quizzical look and said, "Why would I know Don?"

"Oh -" replied the other woman, "well, Don said he used to live across the street from Aaron."

"I see," said Julie. "What street do you live on, Don?"

When I told her, she just shrugged and said, "Oh, well - that was three wives ago."

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